The kingdom of heaven

Is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

Galfriends

I'm starting to see why one would get into a relationship. When you meet someone who understands you. Somewhat.

Put in work

I've heard it said that one has to work at relationships. To keep them going. Perhaps it's just the lazy side of me, but I always thought this to be wrong. I've been a firm believer in if it's right it shouldn't be burdensome. It shouldn't be work.

Doing things based on feelings has it's consequences though. Sub-optimal consequences. But for some reason I've preferred to have a not-so-good outcome that I was really into rather than a pristine result which my heart wasn't into. You'd think I also ride motorbikes and things but I'm as conservative as they come. My heart must not be into exciting, spontaneous things. A chic told me once that I'd make a good husband. I wasn't too pleased. I figured that was chic-speak for you're boring. I knew it even. I'd always known it, so it didn't bother me. From what I'd seen, there is someone for everyone.

Back to relationships. Work. I hear a lot of hooked up people complain about all sorts of things, yet continue in their situations. Quite like the 8 to 5 version of work. Complain but continue. Never made sense to me that combination. Stop one or the other I always thought. If you're married it's a bit more complicated, but the same logic holds. You surely can't spend all your life complaining.

I envy couples though. Envy people who are happy. Perhaps they do have to work at it. Perhaps doing a whole bunch of stuff you would rather not do, but stuff that the other person does want is the way to be happy. It surely isn't easy. Not as easy as being alone.

Liar liar

It seems to be easy to lie. Easier than telling it like it is. I suppose it's one of those things that one grows out of. Children certainly seem to have an easier time of it.

It seems to be driven by fear a lot of the time. With me anyway. Fear of how things will look or something like that. Something meaningless like that. But I keep doing it. To be fair total honesty hasn't worked out real well either. Saying it like it is never seems to come out right. Or I'm yet to master how to do it. It's something worth pursuing though. Anything to stop all the lies.

No free lunch

Everything has a cost.

Incommunicado

She doesn't like to text + I don't like to call = We don't talk

Primordial soup

The beginning is always the hardest
So you can imagine the life
Of one who is constantly beginning
Things his mind conjures up

A new year, a new beginning
The birth of a new thing
An attitude, a goal
A decision, a process of healing

Away with the dead skin
With that which is not good
Away with that which you struggle
With that which you do not want

Healing is not an event
Unless it is a miracle
Even then it is not meant
To destroy or be an obstacle

Healing is a process
A series of mountains
Up and down, up and down
Round and round, down then out

The most energy is needed
When at the bottom you are
Laying in the harsh grassland
Gazing at the steep incline ahead

The thought of forest and snow
Kills the spirit and makes the heart go
It brings pitch black darkness
And his relatives, despair and sadness

This is the error of our ways
The ways that traverse the mind
For the force of darkness and despair
Requires a force of opposite the opposite kind

Here is the thing though
The force of light and joy
Is not of equal strength to it's complement
It is so much greater

A smile at the end of the day
Banishes all the negativity and dismay
A kind word at the end of the week
Negates all of the put-downs

A thank you said once
Makes you forget prior thanklessness
It makes you feel appreciated
Willing to continue with the goodness

'Tis been almost a year
Almost ten and two months
Almost fifty two weeks
Three hundred and sixty five days

Since that fateful day
When he was on the brink
When the lights almost went out
When a monster was unleashed

A year gone by
Nothing like an American pie
More like some green bitter herb
That you had no choice but to grab

With one enemy vanquished
Comes another, of the same kind
No, it is not finished
Just one more, to put you in a bind

The joy the pen brings
Pouring cold water on raging flames
The thoughts to which a smiley clings
Let loose on the white pages

Goodness is like the wind
You cannot possess it
Claim it for yourself
Blow anytime, any way you please

Aah, the truth shall release you
Put you on probation for a while
Can you use it for you
Or will you go back to jail

If you fail, try again and again
And still endeavour to overcome
For when you despair, lose hope
Then you will surely fail

Don't measure your abilities
By the number of times you try
You will always be below average
For little of worth takes one attempt

What to do when you fail
Consistently and completely fail
Do you give up, give in
Give out, give down

None of these is suitable
Light a small candle of hope
Leave room for success
Give it a chance

Success may never come
Or it may tomorrow
Which would you rather believe
Because belief is all you have

You don't know if, when, how or why
Neither will you ever, so don't bother
Let not the unknown move you
Live now, let the future alone

Look for something to do
Something that will make you sweat
Provide you with satisfaction
Without which you would not live

It will take time to find
And may be completely unexpected
But when you find it, and you will
Don't give it up, for anyone or anything

Hold it close to your heart
Do it with every fibre of your body
So as to derive from it
All the joy that it brings

Life is diversity
This is a get out of jail card
Appreciating it sets you free
Lightens the burden of your heart

One step at a time

And the first step is don't worry.

No more

No more questions where people are concerned, because the answer is human beings are flawed.

I am determined to be wise

But this was beyond me.

Whatever wisdom may be, it is far off and most profound - who can discover it.

Two are better than one

Time to stop being a lone ranger.